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Eulogy for Helen Enns

May 26, 1914 to December 20, 2007

Presented on Saturday 29 December, 2007
by Helen's oldest grandchildren, Carolyn and Doug
at Kelowna Gospel Fellowship Church

Introduction

Helen lived her life with attitude. Her family knew this from the way she gave herself Christmas presents that she wanted and knew no one in the family would ever buy her, like a hand saw. Her neighbours knew it from the way she peeled out of the driveway in her gold coloured 1979 Monte Carlo, with gravel furiously spitting beneath the tires. But Helen’s attitude was more profound than the things we chuckled at then, and that make use laugh together now. A few years back, Helen made sure to give each of her children a photocopy of a quotation by Charles Swindoll:

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company . . . a church . . . a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past.  . . we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.

Had they met, Charles Swindoll and Helen would have been kindred spirits. All through her life, Helen met both hardships—poverty, sickness, loss—and good times—travel, family times, honest fun—with steadfast courage and delightful humour. But the quotation Helen gave her children only explains the importance of attitude; it doesn’t reveal any secrets on how to live with attitude. We, as a family, though, know Helen’s secret. We wouldn’t claim that she was perfect. Helen herself would never claim such a thing. We’ve all met with or seen her rough edges at times. The perspective and humour that Helen had through all the good times and bad times of her life, though, came from faith—a faith that was, perhaps, even deeper than any of us ever knew. Let’s take some time now to hear and see and remember together a bit of Helen—who was also known as Mom, Aunt Helen, Grandma, Oma, and Mrs. Enns—as we honour her life, and think about how she has blessed and touched each of us.

Life Story

Helen was born Helena Bergen on May 26, 1914 to Abraham and Aganetha Bergen, in Herbert, Saskatchewan. She was the second born, and ten more children would follow. Helen experienced many good times with family, as well as many hardships through which she showed great courage. Later in life, Helen looked back on those years with a faith that recognized God’s care for her and her family. In June 1997, Helen wrote in her journal, “We have our total will to be in your care as you have been since I was young. ”

The family’s financial situation was tight in those years, and Mr. and Mrs. Bergen made great efforts to provide for their children. After trying to build a homestead in Herbert, the family moved back to southern Manitoba by train. A second try at making a homestead in Herbert several years later also failed, and the family moved to Hanley, south of Saskatoon. Helen’s father worked for the railway there. After a number of years in this area, Helen, by now 13 years old,  started to work as domestic help for wealthy farmers. These were hard times, as both Helen and her brothers took many kinds of jobs to help support the family. At one point, Helen and her brothers Ike and Abe worked for a farmer for three months, six days a week, from 5am until bedtime. Helen was not always well-treated by the families she worked for. She began her first job at age 13, looking after the neighbour’s 2 year old boy who, as Helen worded it, “got into anything.” Once, when her position was terminated, Helen was simply given her suitcase and no ride home. She had to walk 17 miles to her uncle’s home along the road and through muddy, mosquito infested brush, and we think she likely didn’t have any shoes for this day long journey. At one point she even worked for an illegal pub selling home brew.

This stint selling home brew seems to have affected her tasted in food. She didn’t admit it until her children were grown, but her favourite meal around that time was fresh bread with canned salmon and beer.

As the drought-stricken thirties overwhelmed the area, a decision was made to move the family to an area near the town of Nipawin, Saskatchewan. To do this, Helen’s father secured a large covered wagon, and, in order to move livestock, Helen’s uncle was engaged as a cowboy and outrider. He rode ahead and made sure the cattle kept moving, and didn’t stray. The trip to the new home was about a two to three week adventure with cattle, babies, and whatever they could take along. They experienced many acts of kindness by farmers along the way. Whenever they neared the end of a day’s journey, if there was a farm nearby the family would stop and ask to use the barn to sleep in. Sometimes, generous families would invite them to sleep in the house, even settling the Bergen children in bed with the host family’s children. Helen said that it was the Catholic families who were often the most generous in this way.

The Bergen family first settled in Lost River, near Nipawin. Helen was 18 years of age. She was baptized and joined the church in 1934, at age 20. The day of her baptism was the day Helen said that Christ’s offer of forgiveness and new life first really made sense her. She gave her life to Christ on that day. Gratefulness and joy in God’s forgiveness of her sins stuck with Helen for the rest of her life, and she prayed that her family, her friends, and all people would know the joy of forgiveness and living for God. She writes in her journal, “Lord God in Jesus’s name I am able to name you since I am forgiven by your blood and all the bad that you have gone thru for to pay for all our sin.”

Helen’s love for God spilled over towards her family. She was very close with her brothers Abe and Ike, and loved to joke around with them.

Two of Helen’s younger sisters, Trudy and Sara, still remember well the dear sister who showed them in so many ways how much she loved them.

Helen loved caring for babies and children—both dolls and the real thing.

About a year before Helen married Jake Enns, in 1935, while the other siblings went across the road to church, Helen stayed home to assist her father with the delivery of a new baby sister, Trudy. Helen’s role was significant, as there was no time for a hospital, and even the midwife didn’t make it in time. Trudy remembers Helen saying many times what a thrill that had been. When the midwife arrived, after the baby was born, she proceeded to bathe and dress the new baby. As soon as the midwife was gone, Helen got fresh water and gave baby Trudy another bath. She didn’t think Trudy was clean enough.

A few years later, when Trudy was 6 years old, there was an “Eaton’s Beauty” doll in the Eaton’s catalogue. Naturally, there was no money for such a doll. Trudy believes that here sister Helen was instrumental in the making of the first so-called “Army and Navy” Beauty, which Trudy received that Christmas. In later years, Helen’s daughter Evelyn liked playing with it. On one trip she asked if she could take it along for a short while. Helen didn’t want her to take the tattered doll along, but Aunt Sara said she could. The doll went to Lost River and eventually went missing. May years later, when Helen, Jake, and their children were visiting with Trudy, Trudy asked about the doll. Apparently one of the children was sent up to the attic of the old house to retrieve it, only to find that mice had practically destroyed it. Some time later, Trudy received a new “Army and Navy” doll, complete with brown yarn braids, a white blouse, and a pink gingham pinafore. Today, Trudy has this doll safely tucked away, moth-free, and greatly treasures it.

Helen’s adult years began with what she said was the happiest day in her adult life, second only to receiving Christ’s gift of  salvation.  That day was her marriage to Jake Enns on June 23, 1935. She wrote that she married “the best guy in the world.” In her prayer journal, she also wrote regarding Jake, “I do want to feel he was a perfect man. He was not. I am proud and ever more thankful for him as a husband. I’ll never relive those years, Lord.”

Helen and Jake’s courtship was full of good fun. One evening, Helen and her sisters got out the curling iron and curled the guys’ hair, including Jake’s. He had a nice full head of hair, and it was curly for the rest of the week—a hairstyle his mother did not entirely approve of.

Jake played the fiddle, and both Jake and Helen were good dancers—they could tear up the dance floor together. Through all their fun, though, and even in their youth, Jake and Helen honoured God.

Helen gave much credit to her dear mother, Aganetha, and to Jake’s father for training herself and Jake to honour the Lord. They had a big, open invitation wedding, with Helen’s brother Abe as best man and Jake’s sister Mary as bridesmaid. Mary and Helen were and remained very close friends, and Mary is here with us today. Helen’s younger sister Sara was thrilled to be the flower girl for her much-loved older sister.

Helen and Jake repaired and occupied a home built by Jake’s grandfather until 1942. Their first son, Arnold, was born there in 1938, and their first daughter, Evelyn, in 1940.

Then they bought their first farm and house that was located one half mile north of Jake’s parents’ homestead. In about 1942, Jake stepped into his father’s role as pastor in their local church, Bethany Church. This was the beginning of Jake’s ministry, and was something that Helen supported wholeheartedly, passionately, and sacrificially. They were united in their love for Christ and for people.

From 1945-1949, Jake and Helen lived in the town of Nipawin, Saskatchewan, where Jake, who was still pastoring Bethany Church, also worked as a carpenter, lineman for Sask Power, and assistant manager at the Beaver Lumber store.

A second son, Carl, was born in 1948.

That year they took their first big vacation, touring Manitoba by car for two weeks with Helen’s parents. This was a highly memorable event, and included a get together of several hundred of Helen’s relatives.

But times were to change again, by the Lord’s guidance. In 1949, Jake and Helen felt called to study for a year at Briercrest Bible College near Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. They sold their house in town and moved into a 1 ½ room suite at Briercrest. The cramped corners sure didn’t cramp Helen’s style. That year was a major highlight in her life—even her son Arnold remembers it fondly. There, Jake became better equipped for the ministry that they were both so passionate about. They also solidified some good friends in high places: they became close with Dr. and Mrs. Hildebrandt. The spring of 1950 meant building a new home and back to farming in Lost River, Saskatchewan.

Two years later, a third son, Dan, with dark hair this time, was born. And a little girl, Neta, was warmly welcomed by the family in February of 1955. Jake worked hard pastoring and farming, and Helen used her natural talent as a seamstress to help support the family. Nevertheless, money was still tight, and financial hardship prompted a major move to B.C., to work at Helen’s brother Abe’s mill in Quesnel. Helen made their small living quarters into a home, even making shelves out of apple boxes she found.

When the mud of the spring thaw shut down the mill, as it did every year, Helen and Jake moved to Kelowna and purchased a home in East Kelowna.

Here, Jake continued his ministry, and was one of the pastoral leaders who started the church we are sitting in right now: Kelowna Gospel Fellowship Church. Helen cared deeply for this church and its well being. Even in her eighties, she wrote in her prayer journal, “I pray for the church which is so much stronger than when we started it in 1960.”

During her entire life, Helen’s gifts and passions were put into service for others and for God. But it is perhaps during the years of her marriage, from 1935 to 1979, that this was most publicly evident. During these decades, Jake and Helen would often take in visiting missionaries and pastors. Helen would feed them, do laundry as needed, and give them a place to sleep, often in the children’s beds. It was a generous hospitality reminiscent of what her family had received during their move by covered wagon. Helen’s service made her well known and respected in the church and local community. At one point, she even served tea in the Enns home to WAC Bennett, who was then campaigning to become premier of B.C..

All through these years, Jake and Helen had a strong marriage. Even though Helen’s lively personality might have easily led to conflicts, none of her children to this day can remember ever hearing Jake and Helen raise their voices at each other. Some say that if you don’t fight with your spouse you are either lying, or one of you is dead. Jake and Helen were neither. They had made a strong commitment to respect each other, and they kept that commitment for their entire marriage.

It was this love, respect, and gentleness that made Jake’s sudden death in a car accident in 1979 such a hard experience for Helen, as well as for the children and grandchildren. While travelling back from a vacation in the Kootneys, the car went over a bridge abutment. Helen, and her 2 year old granddaughter Jeanette, were thrown from the car and landed near the water. In a deep loss to the church and the family, Jake remained in the car and died instantly. Helen instinctively knew at the time that her husband was in Heaven, and prayed out loud, “You took Jake, and you cannot take Jeanette.” Miraculously, Jeanette survived the accident with only a cut to her lip and some gravel and sand on her face and hands.

Jake’s death was something that Helen never got over. She still missed him even in her 80s and 90s, and thought of seeing him in Heaven. She, and we, don’t know exactly what that is like for her now, but it is a joyous thing to think of her reunion in Heaven with both Christ her Saviour and Jake, the husband she loved so much.

Not too long after Jake’s passing, Helen moved into the cottage on Carl and Lorraine’s yard. Her lively, active life continued there, to the delight, and sometimes amusement, of her children and grandchildren. Skills that she demonstrated already in childhood and put to excellent use during her marriage still kept her busy and having fun.

Sewing was a skill Helen showed talent in early. Helen’s friend and sister-in-law Mary says that Helen had been hired by Mary’s parents to help with housework and gardening. Helen could not only do laundry and ironing; she also had a good way with scissors, needle, and thread. She soon became adept at the treadle sewing machine. Helen was well known for her skill as a seamstress, and would sew all kinds of clothing, even wedding dresses, for clients and family. The family never needed to buy clothes. To this day, one schoolmate remembers Neta as a snappy dresser. At one time, Helen made a skirt for her daughter Neta. When she gave the skirt to Neta, she asked her daughter-in-law Agnes if she would like to have a skirt like that, too. Not long afterwards, Helen produced a finished copy of that same skirt for Agnes, without having mentioned it in the meantime. The skirt fit perfectly.

Helen continued to create garments for her family and neighbours up until a few years ago. Some of the garments that Helen created over the years were

dresses,

aprons,

and even leather jackets for her sons and sons-in law.

But her creative talents were not limited to the sewing machine alone. She made stained glass paintings, knitted (by hand and by knitting machine, which was much faster—an excellent feature for a woman who had no patience for anything slow), painted, quilted, built little model houses, loved jigsaw puzzles, and even made stuffed animals one Christmas for her younger grandchildren. Her granddaughter Jeanette remembers how a short walk across the driveway would always reveal something interesting, creative, often messy, but never predictable, going on next door. The smells of shoe dye or a sink full of bleach would waft out from under the door, and the visitor would often be greeted by Grandma excitedly exclaiming over a "big brainwave" she had just had in regards to the present project she was working on. She adored mac-tac, especially wood grain mac-tac. The home in East Kelowna had a famous—or perhaps infamous—entire wall covered in mac-tac. In fact, it was covered in several layers of mac-tac, or perhaps combinations of wallpaper and mac-tac, and the wall’s history could be investigated, like the layers in a geological fossil record, by going to the edge of the wall and peeling back the layers, one by one.

Helen did all her creative work with zeal, fun, and thankfulness to God. As she wrote in her prayer journal, “I love to make things and then look at the work good or bad. You gave me a gift to make things and also to clean.”

Another, more unusual gift Helen had was the ability to make kindling using a method that involved her feet and a butcher knife. She would stand with a log firmly clamped between her feet, with one hand on the knife handle and the other on the end of the backside of the blade, and shave like mad. Her children felt it was only a matter of time before she chopped off a toe in the process, but she never did. She did continue to make her children nervous, though.

Having been the wife and mother of carpenters—four in total—she was not afraid to work with wood, and would frequently come to Carl and Dan’s shop for scrap wood. Granddaughter Carolyn remembers watching Grandma make a shelf for the sewing room with some unconventional materials and tools: scrap wood, glue, and a bread knife. Sometimes the projects were a little bigger, though. During the years when she lived in the cottage on her son Carl and his wife Lorraine’s yard, Carl was afraid to go on vacation, for fear of what possible renovations might go on in his absence. This fear was not unfounded. One vacation ended in a particularly memorable homecoming. Helen, at that time in her 70’s, had torn down the old steps up to the back door and built new ones.

In addition to working on all kinds of sewing and crafts both small and large—and speed-baking huge batches of buns with “never say whoa in a mud hole” zeal—Helen always showed a lot of spunk in other ways, too. Perhaps this lively adventurousness was inspired by some of Helen’s earlier experiences.

She certainly had adventures, some of which even involved hunting. She had a friend, Bertha Lewis, whose father was German and whose mother was Native. Helen once went hunting with Bertha and her father, and they poached an elk from the forest reserve. Transportation back home was by canoe, in the dark. With the heavy elk in the canoe there was only about an inch of the gunwale above the water. Helen couldn’t swim, and was certain that her life was going to be over before the end of the trip. Much to Helen’s relief, the three made it back. Helen was not above using a gun herself, often to shoot at half wild dogs that would come around the house. Some of her children remember her shooting at a dog, missing, and sitting down at the kitchen table, shaking with buck fever.

After her husband Jake’s death, Helen got a new car, which she loved—the big 1979 Monte Carlo. In fact, she thanked God for it in her prayers: “Lord, You have given me a good living and a new car to take me around and to church.” She liked to use it to show that she was not really getting old, yet. The way to demonstrate this was to drive fast. Her grandson Derek once wrote for a school project that when Grandma Enns drove out of the yard, the neighbours called in their children and their dogs. Derek could have been exaggerating, but it’s doubtful.

Even after she had moved into an extended care residence in Kelowna, Helen still didn’t like to hold to a speed limit. She was actually seen at one time running down a hallway with her walker, in order to pass a slower resident. It’s a good thing that extended care residences don’t have traffic cops, or she would have lost her license to use a walker.

Shoes and hats were right up there with fast driving, both in daily life and in Helen’s prayers. The more shoes, and the bigger the heels, the better. In her eighties she prayed, “I feel good about the shoes. I’d like some more with heels.”

Helen’s delight in hats was obvious right up until a few weeks ago. Even after Helen had lost the ability to communicate in words, she would sometimes put on a silly hat and wander down the hallway at Sun Point extended care residence, just waiting for one or another of the nurses to notice and giggle with her. The family is so grateful for those nurses and staff who took such good care of our Mom, Grandma, and Great-Grandma in so many ways that her children could not during her years in extended care residences in Rosthern, Saskatchewan and Kelowna.

Another thing that Helen definitely delighted in was her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She kept a special corner cupboard specially stocked with caramel popcorn, red licorice, Fruit Loops, and Wagon Wheels, for anyone who might drop in. The location of the cupboard just on the other side of the kitchen counter enabled her to secretly delight in observing her grandchildren sneak candy out of the cupboard when they thought she wasn’t looking. Of course, the grandchildren weren’t the only ones to raid the corner cupboard, and it’s hard to say whether the cupboard was more for the grandkids, or the Grandma. Helen knew and loved all her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She spent 1999 to 2002 in an extended care home in Rosthern, Saskatchewan, where she hand a chance to get to know her Saskatchewan grandchildren and great-grandchildren better, and even participated in a fashion show with her daughter Evelyn, granddaughter Carolyn, and great-granddaughter Chrissy.

Helen’s delight in her grandchildren is nicely expressed in an entry she wrote in her granddaughter Heather’s autograph book on June 15, 1991:

The colours of summer are found in a clouded sky
In the beauty of flowers
In the sounds of the birds
And in the laughter of girls—Heather—her cousins and her friends
That is what makes a nice summer.

Conclusion

As much as her grandchildren and great-grandchildren—and dare we say her children, too?—enjoyed the candy that corner cupboard, though, the legacy Helen will leave behind is one of faith. Helen was passionate that her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren would live good lives, trust in God for their needs, and honour the Lord in their families. Her granddaughter Jeanette always marvelled at how, even with only a grade two or three education, she would painstakingly write out all her prayers or pour over the latest Dobson article—an amazing testimony to her lifelong faith.

The four to five page letters she would write Jeanette while Jeanette was away at school brought smiles to the entire dorm, but always concluded with a message that back home Grandma was praying and thinking of her. May of Helen’s grandchildren, and others, have been the recipients of her prolific letters. She prayed in her prayer journal, “May all our family do your will in their family, Lord God in Jesus’s name, whose child I am in my heart that you paid for . . . All I can do is pray for each child and you will speak to them.” She named each of her children—Arnold, Evelyn, Carl, Dan, and Neta—in her prayers often, as well as her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She prayed for various neighbours and those who didn’t know the Lord as she did, too, sometimes making reference to her younger years: “And we were so gifted to have all the revival meetings where Grandpa Enns was the start and it went on for all the years. And now our grandchildren are in line. Lord, I pray you will answer prayer and change lives.” As the family grows, we know that Mom’s—Grandma’s—Oma’s—legacy will continue.

We welcomed with joy this past Sunday the safe arrival of a new great-grandchild, Sarah Helen Enns, daughter of Derek and Colleen Enns. Many of us will pray for her, just as Helen prayed for us. Even though we are sad when we think that the many days we had Helen with us are over now, we are joyful over the memories and legacy she has left us. We are comforted by the knowledge that she is with the Lord Jesus, who she so loved and talked to so much in this life.

Let’s finish this celebration of Helen by reading something Helen wrote just a few years back. It’s entitled “What Would I Like To Do.”

I would buy a ticket on a train and have a small place to sleep in and eat there good food.
And I’d travel right across Canada going and coming back in order to see more.
And I’d like to go on a cruise to see what it looks like on the Coast in B.C..
I’d love to hear some good choir who use to come and give us a great blessing.
I love to see my sons and daughters do a work worthwhile in music and carpenter work which I have great pride, as well as building and making anything.

Praise God for life. --- Mom

Eulogy written, with much love, by granddaughter Heather J. Enns

With invaluable help and (sometimes verbatim) contributions from:
Sisters Sara and Trudy
Sister-in-law and friend Mary
Son Arnold
Daughter Evelyn
Son Carl
Daughter Neta
Granddaughter Carolyn (daughter of Evelyn)
Granddaughter Donna (daughter of Arnold)
Granddaughter Jeanette (daughter of Carl)
Grandson Derek (son of Carl)
and Helen’s own journals and other writing